The Super Hero Syndrome

“You’re a superwoman for being a VP and a loving mom at home.”

“She is a supermom. She makes sure her son has delicious meals in his lunch box everyday, while balancing her growing business”

You must have heard these sentences being thrown around in mommy circles.

If someone says you can have it all be all, they’re lying. Or they really are superheroes. Make sure you invite them home for your next party. People love magic tricks. In fact, why not send them to the Amazon forest that desperately needs to be saved?

Every woman I spoke to for my first book, Back On Your Feet, told me that once they decided to restart their career after a break, they had to prioritize their lives.

Women are often put on a pedestal and expected to walk the tightrope between personal and professional responsibilities with utmost perfection. Not only is it impractical, but it also creates an unrealistic expectation to be in control all the time. It is not possible to have a social life, maintain the house, look after kids, finish your office work and have time for self care everyday. There will be days when you won’t be able to check your kids’ homework or make the perfect lunch box or even meet deadlines at work. So, what can you do?

Let go.

By letting go, I don’t mean giving up on things completely. It’s important to prioritize stuff that you want to do on a particular day. The women I spoke to for my book talked about how they decided to let go of work, relationships and activities which did not fit into their new vision. If you’re serious about doing something for yourself, you have to accept that something’s gotta give.

It may start with small steps like utilizing time spent on scrolling through social media or watching television, in a better way. Gradually, you’ll probably have to give up on bigger things like missing a wedding or a PTA meeting. Will you miss all weddings and PTA meetings? No. But if some things do not fit into your schedule, don’t chase unexpected goals that affect your health and overall wellbeing.

As long as you know your priorities and non-negotiables, you can stay focussed and still make time for the things that matter — your kids’ birthdays, your learning, and setting apart some time to relax.

It reminds me of something I read on Instagram a few months ago:

“Let's get this straight. Men don't support their wives. Wives supports their career by being the best caregiver their children can get”

You can find Back On Your Feet on Amazon in paperback and on Kindle.

Neha Lagoo Ratnakar

Author — Back on Your Feet



Neha was born in Indore, India and

currently lives in Amsterdam, Netherlands

with her genius husband, a strong-willed

daughter, and an extremely gullible dog.

Neha’s nomadic life as a trailing spouse

could have cost her career, and she

knows what taking a break feels like. As

she has continued her career journey

across changing geographies and

sectors, she’s faced challenges and

learned invaluable life lessons. It’s these

challenges and lessons that have carried

her to where she is today as a writer.

When Neha isn’t writing, she’s a talent

development professional and a part time

entrepreneur. She’s also been a

face painter, a handwriting analyst, a

website designer, and a henna artist.

In her spare time, Neha enjoys playing

improv and saying “yes” to the curve

balls life throws at her. And when life has

nothing to throw, she shakes things up

anyway by doing something crazy. Back

on Your Feet is Neha’s first published



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