Separation and Divorce

Going through a separation/divorce or even a break-up and struggle with your mental health? Then you need to read this!

24th of April 2021, my husband dropped the bombshell of how he was done with our marriage, me and my mental health. This came as a massive shock, I knew my marriage was struggling, but I did not expect that. I have had mental health issues for as long as I can remember, and this was not something I hid from him; I was always honest with him and told him when things were bad.

The last few weeks coming up to that day, my mental health had started to dip again, and I was splitting a lot (a symptom caused by black and white thinking, in people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder), when I split, I can become really irrational and lose control which can be dangerous. I have learnt how to keep myself under control, but I have not yet managed to control the splitting. In one of my last conversations with my ex he said that if I had have had better control over my mental health our marriage would have survived.

I know that if you are going through something similar right now, you are feeling extremely hurt and confused. You are probably hating yourself, as you feel like you are to blame. YOU ARE NOT TOO BLAME! You tried your hardest and you couldn’t have done anything else to change anything. That person who left you, choose to leave (sorry I know that is so painful to hear) let them go. Cry as many tears as you need and even if six months down the line you are still crying every day, that is okay, as that is me, six months later and I still cry several times a day and normally over silly things, like needing a hug but having no-one to hug, wanting to talk to someone on that deep connected level and realizing the walls just don’t do it. You must realize that person leaving will open the door for someone even better to come into your life. Do not rush straight into another relationship as that will only cause more hurt, you need to heal, you need to put yourself first and remember the things you once loved that you have forgotten or stopped. Thinking about a new look, start with the little things, paint your nails, get your hair cut in a completely different style than you have had before, choose to eat healthier, not necessarily to lose weight but when you flood your body with healthy food you do start to feel better. Drink your water, enjoy short walks in nature and remember why you are glad to be alive. If you want to connect with me to talk about things my social media links will be in my bio, I would love to help you through this and help you remember who you are and love you again. Much love, remember they done you a massive favour 😉


Louise Adair (Grant) is a 2 times international bestselling author, having taken part of the first book in the ‘Smashing through’ Trilogy, ‘Smashing Through The Glass Ceiling’ and the most recent book ‘Smashing Through The Stop Sign Of Life’ released on the 3rd of October 2021, writing has been a passion of Louise’s since a very young age and she always dreamed of getting her writing published. She adores all things Disney, crafts particularly crochet. She is an avid mental health advocate and loves to help people by telling them her survival story and would love to work on changing the stigma around the world surrounding mental health.

You can connect with Louise on social media.

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Instagram - @secretsofbpd

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